Category: University
Student Swims Into UCSB Lagoon During Extravaganza Lineup Scavenger Hunt, Drowns Self From Dissapointment
A.S. Senate Casually Debates Humanity Of Palestinians At Divestment Vote
Freshman Found Inside Campus Construction Area After Four Days Missing
UCSB Temporarily Lifts Campus Tobacco Ban in Honor of Mac DeMarco Concert in the Hub
Sophomore Feels Triumphant After Choosing to Not Wish Childhood Bully Happy Birthday on Facebook
Open People’s Party Sweeps Second Consecutive Resume Bolstering Election
Lesser-Known UCSB Awards
A.S. Senators Passionately Debate Shittiness of Their Jobs
Environmentally Conscious Students Detained in Guantanamo By NSA Spies
UCSB Womyn’s Center Offers Cock-Blocking Classes
Students Take Fifth Year to Attend Opening of New Goleta Target
Library Construction Halted After Discovery of Ancient White Burial Grounds
Smoking Ban Successfully Drives out UCSB English Majors
Chancellor Yang Caught Using Study Drugs to Complete End-of-Quarter Paperwork
Isla Vista Soup Kitchen Falls Short of Food Critic’s Expectations
Queer Spanish Teacher Forces Students to Conjugate Verbs with Preferred Gender Pronouns
Dining Commons Host “Carnivore Carrillo Day” to Placate Bloodthirsty Students
A.S. Senate Shuts Down After Vote of ‘No Confidence’ in Student Body
Gaucho Marks 