Student Swims Into UCSB Lagoon During Extravaganza Lineup Scavenger Hunt, Drowns Self From Dissapointment

Connell received a post-mortem honorary degree in Comunications from the university.
Connell received a post-mortem honorary degree in Comunications from the university.

On May 6, 2015, 4th-year UCSB student Marcus Connell reportedly drowned himself in the lagoon after taking part in A.S. Program Board’s inexplicably themed “~underwater~” scavenger hunt for the 2015 Extravaganza lineup, in which five messages in a bottle with the expected performers were hidden around campus. Friends say Connell, a die-hard Flume fan for the past three months, was determined to swim to the center of the lagoon and be the first to find out who would play at his final Extravaganza.

2nd-year John Beverly confirmed that he was on an afternoon jog when he heard Connell jump into the lagoon and swim out to its center. “When he finally found the bottle and managed to open it,” said Beverly, “I heard this enraged, blood-curdling scream, like — MIGUEL?!!?! — and then the scream was cut off by a plunging sound followed by some gurgling and bubbling. Connell’s closest friends say he died doing what he loved — judging the decisions of UCSB’s A.S. Program board.

“To be honest, my friend texted me the official lineup just as the final bubbles were rising to the surface and I almost jumped in with him,” claimed Beverly. “How A.S. can get away with hiring such shitty artists I’ve never even heard of for this free concert is beyond me.”

In spite of the slight to Miguel suggested by Connell’s suicide, his P.R. team has graciously conveyed to A.S. Program Board that he will be dedicating his upcoming Extravaganza performance to the late student.

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