Gaucho Marks

Gaucho Marks

UCSB Satire For the People, By the People

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Category: Opinion

Charlie Kirk says "socialism" is to blame for momentary loss of rectal control.
March 2, 2023May 5, 2023 Gaucho Marks

Charlie Kirk Apologizes for “Messy” UCSB Appearance

A Valentine's day card featuring Chancellor Yang surrounded by hearts on a pink and red background.
January 30, 2023March 2, 2023 Gaucho Marks

To: Chancellor Yang, From: Your Midnight Lagoon Lover

Digital illustration of Gaucho Marks and Nexustentialism's logos passionately making out
February 11, 2022November 4, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Nexustentialism, Mon Amour (A Reply)

October 29, 2021November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

The Gaucho sucks.

April 29, 2021April 29, 2021 Gaucho Marks

Book Club: Reading the Thai Restaurant Takeout Menu

April 21, 2021April 21, 2021 Gaucho Marks

Sliced Bread Isn’t Even That Good (A Slice of History)

February 1, 2021November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Doubleplusungood News for Orwell’s Fake Fans

January 28, 2021November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Are We Going to Talk About this Sexual Tension Between Us, Nexustentialism?

November 24, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Fuck Regular Thanksgiving

October 30, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Satisfied with the Successful Appointment of Justice Coney Barrett, Senator Ted Cruz Is Sure He’s a Very Smart Boy

October 23, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Isla Vista Halloween-at-Home Survival Guide

May 17, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Doodle Analyses in Quarantine: BIG MOOD

May 12, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Writing my Wrongs: Blowing Chocolate Chunks, Rejecting Middle English, and the Burger that Got Away — Letter #2B

May 10, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Doodle Analyses in Quarantine: Groceries

April 21, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Quarantine Recipes: Tomato and Egg Stir Fry

February 24, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

An Open Letter to the Girl Who Keeps Raising Her Hand in My GE Class

February 20, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Majors That Don’t Exist But Should

February 18, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

We Need Less Subways

February 14, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

I Wrote Nexustentialism a Poem and They Insulted Me

February 11, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

GOOP: Guided, Open, Onest, Proces

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The moment you’ve all been waiting for… Our print edition is here! This year our writers have put their blood, sweat, and other bodily fluids into this zine, so you don’t want to miss it! Containing never-before-seen content that will make the CIA blast your head clean off upon reading it! (RIP Gary Smith, 4th year comms major, he was our trial reader) They're talking about duking it out for the space but we're pretty sure they have very different ideas about how it would go down 🥸 Say hello to Gamma Mu Chi (Γμχ)! Gaucho Marks is officially opening the first and for some reason only single chapter fraternity/sorority. Rush starts next quarter! Come join and make friends you'll hate for the rest of your life! 🥸 Students say they are very excited to celebrate this festive and/or tragic holiday! “We deeply apologize for the recent hazing incident that occurred at 5 am,” a representative said on her Instagram story. “We promise that all future hazing events will take place before curfew.” Mecury retrograde might be why you have an insatiable need to give yourself a haircut but it is NOT the reason you didn't study for the midterm you knew was going to happen four weeks ago. Do you have any famous classmates? Are you a famous classmate? Hit us up for a collab, we’d love to leech off your success! This is a monumental achievement on part of the UCSB student body, not only might it work, it has also become the first thing everyone's been able to agree on! MAKE SURE TO SIGN THIS VERY REAL PETITION, AND HAPPY 4/20 TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE!! 🥸 Do you want to be a part of your favorite campus satire publication? Sumbit a drawing of our mascot, Gaucho Marky to be included in our Spring Zine. The more crudely drawn, the better! Link in bio!

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