Gaucho Marks

Gaucho Marks

UCSB Satire For the People, By the People

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Category: Opinion

A Valentine's day card featuring Chancellor Yang surrounded by hearts on a pink and red background.
January 30, 2023March 2, 2023 Gaucho Marks

To: Chancellor Yang, From: Your Midnight Lagoon Lover

Digital illustration of Gaucho Marks and Nexustentialism's logos passionately making out
February 11, 2022November 4, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Nexustentialism, Mon Amour (A Reply)

October 29, 2021November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

The Gaucho sucks.

April 29, 2021April 29, 2021 Gaucho Marks

Book Club: Reading the Thai Restaurant Takeout Menu

April 21, 2021April 21, 2021 Gaucho Marks

Sliced Bread Isn’t Even That Good (A Slice of History)

February 1, 2021November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Doubleplusungood News for Orwell’s Fake Fans

January 28, 2021November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Are We Going to Talk About this Sexual Tension Between Us, Nexustentialism?

November 24, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Fuck Regular Thanksgiving

October 30, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Satisfied with the Successful Appointment of Justice Coney Barrett, Senator Ted Cruz Is Sure He’s a Very Smart Boy

October 23, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Isla Vista Halloween-at-Home Survival Guide

May 17, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Doodle Analyses in Quarantine: BIG MOOD

May 12, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Writing my Wrongs: Blowing Chocolate Chunks, Rejecting Middle English, and the Burger that Got Away — Letter #2B

May 10, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Doodle Analyses in Quarantine: Groceries

April 21, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Quarantine Recipes: Tomato and Egg Stir Fry

February 24, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

An Open Letter to the Girl Who Keeps Raising Her Hand in My GE Class

February 20, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Majors That Don’t Exist But Should

February 18, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

We Need Less Subways

February 14, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

I Wrote Nexustentialism a Poem and They Insulted Me

February 11, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

GOOP: Guided, Open, Onest, Proces

February 5, 2020November 5, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Duchess Meghan Markle And Duke Harry Breaking News: i dOnT cArE

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"That must mean they're all virgins, right? Nothing else could possibly explain it, right?" said project leader Sophie Papermann. PLEASE I’M A STAAAAARRRRRRRRR “I just wanted to learn more about the nuances of toilet paper brands and manufacturing… I thought this was a Kirkland Signature event,” confessed the confused connoisseur. “Those guys on stage clearly didn’t know crap about the industry. What a flush!” 💩🧻 For more groundbreaking journalism, visit our website: gauchomarks.com “Eric and I share a lot of the same hardworking American values that makes this country great. He’s a model citizen that gives me hope for the next generation. It’s been a pleasure to have him here on the stage tonight, what a great and heartwarming kid. We sure owned those liberal cucks, didn’t we, Eric?” Happy leap day everyone! 🍀🥸 #ucsb UCSB Housing & Residential Services stated on the matter: “You may find SEAL’s Fraternity & Sorority Life Councils to be helpful in finding the housing option that is right for you.” UCSB’s second flash flood warning of the quarter! This must be some kind of record! Stay safe out there… 🌊 Got any Valentine’s Day plans?😜 The RCSGD has a new resource guide some of you may find useful. I know our staff will be putting these tips to good use in the near future… Check the link in our bio for more deets, ya filthy animals!💋👅

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