Quarantine Recipes: Tomato and Egg Stir Fry

VEGETARIAN | GLUTEN FREE👏

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INGREDIENTS

  • 1 roma tomato
  • 3 large eggs
    • 1 more egg if u want
    • honestly, just put as many eggs as u want; my ratio is 3 eggs to 1 small tomato
  • ¼ of a white onion, diced
    • Or a yellow onion, it’s fine
  • 1 green onion stalk, finely chopped
  • 2 cloves of garlic
    • Or more. I definitely use more, I just put 2 on this recipe so I don’t feel judged
  • 2??? tbsp??? of vegetable oil
  • Measured to taste
    • Ketchup
    • Salt (or soy sauce/temari)
    • Sesame oil
    • Black and/or white pepper
    • Sugar (optional)

EQUIPMENT

  • Non-stick pan
  • Wooden or silicone spatula
  • Bowl
  • Whisk, chopsticks, or a fork or whatever
  • Cutting board
  • Knife
  • Clean towel

PREPARATION INSTRUCTIONS

*This can be done before or during cooking. For absolute beginners, I recommend doing all of this before cooking.

  1. Wash your hands.
    1. This shit goes in your mouth. Wash your hands.
  2. Wash your tomato. Cut into chunks about the size of whatever you feel like is right.
  3. Rinse your knife and wipe with a clean towel. Rinse your hands.
  4. Finely mince the garlic.
  5. Repeat step three.
  6. Dice your white or yellow onion. Set aside.
  7. Repeat step three.
  8. Finely chop your green onion. Save some of the finer green part for garnish.
  9. Repeat step three.
  10. Crack your eggs in a bowl and beat them with a fork, whisk, or chopsticks. No need to beat them too well, as you will mix things into them later.
  11. Wash your hands.
    1. Wash your fucking hands.

COOKING INSTRUCTIONS

  1. Wash your hands.
    1. I swear to fucking god
  2. Heat your pan to low-medium heat as you prep your ingredients, if they are not already prepped.
  3. Put the vegetable oil in the evenly-heated pan.
  4. Toss the minced garlic and chopped green onion in the pan and let them cook for a few seconds. This infuses the oil with garlic and onion flavor.
    1. As soon as you toss them in, the garlic and onion should sizzle.
    2. You will know they are done infusing when you can smell them.
  5. Toss the diced onion and tomato chunks in the pan with a pinch of salt and sweat them until the tomatoes soften and the onions are just turning translucent.
  6. Rinse your hands.
  7. As the tomatoes and onions cook, add a few shakes of salt/soy sauce, black and/or white pepper, ketchup, and sugar into the beaten eggs.
    1. Again, I don’t know measurements. Just do whatever feels right. If your intuition sucks, then I don’t know what to tell you.
  8. Stir until the ingredients look pretty homogenous.
  9. Pour the egg mixture into the pan with the tomatoes and onions.
  10. With a spatula, stir the eggs as curds form. Make sure the eggs don’t brown, unless you prefer them that way.
  11. Add more ketchup, salt, sugar, and/or pepper if you like.
  12. Serve with rice or noodles. Or eat it like that, I guess, whatever

This dish is pretty flexible in terms of proportions and ingredients.

VEGANS:

  • Don’t make this.
  • lol jk
  • you can substitute the eggs with silken tofu for a “tofu scramble,” it’s actually pretty good

GLUTEN FREE:

  • Use temari. Or just salt.

Regarding ketchup:

  • whatever
  • If it has sugar in it, maybe don’t add more sugar in the recipe.
  • but like, whatever floats your boat

Regarding tomatoes:

  • One time I didn’t use tomatoes at all because I actually hate tomatoes
  • Canned, fresh, cherry, roma, or just ketchup, doesn’t matter!!!!

Possible add-ons:

  • Mushrooms
  • Spam
  • MORE EGGS
  • MORE GARLIC
  • Etc.

My life story, tacked onto the end of the recipe rather than the beginning:

I ate this all the time as a kid. It’s simple, so this is something I make when I don’t feel like really cooking. If anyone comments, “this isn’t authentic or the right way to do it meh me h nyeh nyEH” I honestly do not give a shit. This recipe is literally just eggs and tomatoes, idk how authenticity even matters here. what the fuck do u want from me

Enjoy! (: