Valentine’s Day Temporarily Rekindles Feeble Long Distance Relationship

Arriving at the nadir of their emotionally and sexually frustrating long distance relationship, Valentine’s Day brought a small spark to the deteriorating romance between freshmen Cheyenne Hudgens and her boyfriend, University of Texas-Austin first year Peter Madden.

Hudgens, who has been in a monogamous relationship with Madden for the past two years, is frequently seen taking lengthy phone calls late into the night only to return looking “miserable and weary” according to her hall mates. The coming of Valentine’s Day has reportedly instilled in Hudgens a shimmer of hope that the fifteen hundred mile distance separating her and Madden  is not as bad as it seems.

“I cried myself to sleep the night before, but in the morning I saw a text from Pete that said ‘Happy Valentine’s Day, baby! I love you and I can’t wait to see you!’” Hudgens told reporters, describing the text’s validation of her previously confused feelings toward Madden. “It made me feel so happy that I started crying again.”

Taking a break from browsing through pictures of herself and Madden during the pre-collegiate months of their relationship-which she claims to do “about four or five times per day”- Hudgens told reporters that if it were not for the infinitesimal burst of nostalgic affection at the onset of Valentine’s Day, she is uncertain that she could have withstood one more week of the heart wrenching loneliness she experiences on a day to day basis. She has found solace only in venting her anguish with her sympathetic hall mates, especially first year Spencer Friedan.

“Up until Valentine’s Day, Spence was the only thing that really kept me going after all of the bittersweet Skype conversations, sleepless nights, and resentment of my unfulfilled sexual needs,” said Hudgens of Friedan, who plays second string quarterback for the Argentinean Cowboys and fronts an alternative rock band. “He’s a great listener, he’s super sweet, incredibly funny, and he always knows what to say to me when I’m feeling particularly upset-not to mention he’s really cute.”

“But he’s definitely not better than Pete,” added Hudgens quickly, “Just…different.”

Madden was unable to comment due to the distance of his university and his preoccupation of hate-fucking UTA freshman Christina Fraiser through tears while a photograph of himself and Hudgens at their high school graduation lay face down on top of his dresser.

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