Gaucho Marks

Gaucho Marks

UCSB Satire For the People, By the People

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Tag: UCSB

Eric Cartman wearing a Hitler uniform sits on a stool next to Charlie Kirk on stage
March 1, 2023March 2, 2023 Gaucho Marks

Charlie Kirk Reveals Surprise Guest Eric Cartman at UCSB Event

January 31, 2023 Gaucho Marks

Gaucho Marks Announces Rebrand to Nexustentialism

A Valentine's day card featuring Chancellor Yang surrounded by hearts on a pink and red background.
January 30, 2023March 2, 2023 Gaucho Marks

To: Chancellor Yang, From: Your Midnight Lagoon Lover

November 19, 2022November 20, 2022 Gaucho Marks

UCSB Agrees to Offer $54,000/yr Salary to Grad Workers—in Gauchobucks

Here's how YOU can stand up to the Australian Annexation of UCSB! A UCSB student is seen throwing a koala into a eucalyptus tree like a basketball.
November 4, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Australia Annexes Central Coast, Too Many Eucalyptus Trees

October 21, 2022November 3, 2022 Gaucho Marks

It’s Gonna Get Worse, Before It Gets Worse

May 31, 2022October 21, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Local Trans Woman Unsure if Being Harassed in Public or Harangued for Petition

Dead seabird on the beach with a Shen Yun flyer sticking out of its belly
May 20, 2022May 17, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Over 85% of Ocean Trash Shen Yun Adverts

May 6, 2022November 4, 2022 Gaucho Marks

White Studies and Other “Experimental” Majors Offered in the ’22-’23 Year

The incomprehensible pdf in question.
April 20, 2022May 6, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Humanities Set Record for Most Incomprehensible PDF

Digital illustration of blonde white frat boys coming off a factory conveyor belt.
April 18, 2022November 4, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Frat Factory Faces Supply Chain Shortage on Justins, Ethans, Tristans

April 8, 2022April 16, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Roommate Roulette: Which One Will You Get?

April 1, 2022November 4, 2022 Gaucho Marks

U.C.S.B. Files for Chapter 9 Bankruptcy

March 7, 2022November 4, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Underground Edition: Winter 2022

Digital illustration of Gaucho Marks and Nexustentialism's logos passionately making out
February 11, 2022November 4, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Nexustentialism, Mon Amour (A Reply)

February 7, 2022February 11, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Charles Munger Presents: The Mungie Awards

January 26, 2022November 4, 2022 Gaucho Marks

Netflix Acquires Gaucho Marks in $2.8T Deal

January 22, 2022November 4, 2022 Gaucho Marks

LEAKED: Full List of Return-to-Campus Plans from UC Admin

January 15, 2022January 22, 2022 Gaucho Marks

COVID-19 Announcement Mad Libs

December 1, 2021January 17, 2022 Gaucho Marks

“Omicron” Discovered to be Bionicle, Sentient and Out for Revenge

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Older posts
"That must mean they're all virgins, right? Nothing else could possibly explain it, right?" said project leader Sophie Papermann. PLEASE I’M A STAAAAARRRRRRRRR “I just wanted to learn more about the nuances of toilet paper brands and manufacturing… I thought this was a Kirkland Signature event,” confessed the confused connoisseur. “Those guys on stage clearly didn’t know crap about the industry. What a flush!” 💩🧻 For more groundbreaking journalism, visit our website: gauchomarks.com “Eric and I share a lot of the same hardworking American values that makes this country great. He’s a model citizen that gives me hope for the next generation. It’s been a pleasure to have him here on the stage tonight, what a great and heartwarming kid. We sure owned those liberal cucks, didn’t we, Eric?” Happy leap day everyone! 🍀🥸 #ucsb UCSB Housing & Residential Services stated on the matter: “You may find SEAL’s Fraternity & Sorority Life Councils to be helpful in finding the housing option that is right for you.” UCSB’s second flash flood warning of the quarter! This must be some kind of record! Stay safe out there… 🌊 Got any Valentine’s Day plans?😜 The RCSGD has a new resource guide some of you may find useful. I know our staff will be putting these tips to good use in the near future… Check the link in our bio for more deets, ya filthy animals!💋👅

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