Wait, you guys are getting paid?

“If I had known that people actually get paid real money to write shitty satire, I would’ve never taken this position,” wrote one GM writer. “They just told me the industry standard is 1/4 a Woodstock’s coupon for every article I write. Shit, even writing for the Nexus pays more than that!”

Another staff member stated “I heard about the writer’s strike a few months ago, but when I brought it up at a meeting, our Editor-In-Chief said it was fake news and took away my potty privileges for a week.”

“I think this strike has the very real potential of increasing wages, improving workplace expectations, and bettering the culture within writer’s rooms across America,” said Gaucho Marks’ Editor-In-Chief. “Obviously we can’t be having that, as that would cut into our lucrative profits and make our staff too happy to write anything funny.” Luckily for Gaucho Marks, the threat that the strike poses is minor, as the organization’s work ethic continues to hover steadily around zero fucks given.

“Our next zine edition will be written entirely by AI. Fuck it we ball.”