Panda Express, Wahoos, Santorini, Root 217, Subway, Arbor, Woodstocks, Starbucks, Subway. 

Hmm… something seems off here. 

        We have two Subways. That’s only counting the food options directly on campus. Then we have another fucking subway in IV. I don’t get it. Why do we need three Subways in a mile radius? What’s even worse is that it’s the best food-per-dollar in the area. Everything else here is overpriced — at least, my broke college wallet makes that much clear. So unfortunately, Subway is probably the best option when it comes to financial value.

        With that being said, I have a proposal. 

        We should eliminate one of the three Subways and put something else in its stead — everyone’s favorite corporate golden arches. Fucking McDonalds!

        Of course, there will be people that will say otherwise. “mCdOnaLds sUcks, it has shitty service and food”. Well listen here bud, where else can you get 20 nuggets for $5?

        Okay yeah, Burger King I guess. But Burger King doesn’t have the McValue Menu. You know, the McValue Menu, where every item is less than $2. The McChicken cost $1.29 and the McDouble cost $1.39. Guess how much the cheapest sandwich at Subway costs — $4 for a half foot, cold cut combo! I’m not gonna lie, that shit is pretty tasty, but not tasty enough to warrant three locations. 

        At the end of the day, I’m okay with us having at most two Subways, since some people like to “eat fresh”. But please, I don’t want to eat fresh anymore. I want a McDonalds where I can happily say “I’m Lovin’ it!”

TLDR; Fuck Subway and Jared Fogle. Replace Subway with McDonalds.

*** For reference, here is a map of the 3 Subways and the 1 McDonalds in the area and the common routes to get there by foot/bike. Unbelievable.