Now available beginning March 2019: Puppy Petting Minor
Posting on Overheard
Majors collect data by wandering campus, IV, and the Manzi common room to listen for the most absurd and out-of-context sound bites to post on Facebook for internet points.
Disappointing Your Mother And/Or Father Figure
Exactly what it sounds like.
Internet Shopping During Lecture
Why listen to the professor when you could scroll Amaz*n?
On the bus, in the UCen, in the lib, on the Chem lawn, in an egg chair, at your Friday night rager, during finals.
Avoiding People With Clipboards
Majors are able to sense The Clipboard, locate an alternate route, and appear emboldened enough to ward off any fierce volunteer.
Majors are able to scan, identify, and swipe left on an unsuitable profile at an average speed of .00420-.069 seconds.
Casting suspicion on your friends, co-workers, and that one bitch who took your unassigned assigned seat in section, you know who you are.
True Crime Podcasts
Majors should listen to, write about, and commit true crime.
Majors have alternate profiles on every social media platform and are able to track down any individual person.
Majors are subject to random vibe checks.
Napping At 3PM To Avoid Responsibility
The One True Solution to that assignment due at midnight tonight, the dishes piled up in your sink, and your bike’s flat tire.
Thoughts On Hiking
No actual hiking involved.
Majors collect stickers for their hydroflasks with the ultimate task of placing them all on one without any unnecessary overlap.
Smelling Scented Candles at HomeGoods
Ocean breeze really hits different, but what about Orange Jasmine Whisper? Let’s go through the whole aisle again.
Senior Thesis is compiling a mashup of the best Tik Toks to measure at least 30 minutes in length.
Class of ‘93 founded the annual UCSB Primal Scream located at the base of Storke Tower.
Chart the stars and discover your shitty personality.
History of Shadow Governments [IMPACTED]
Initiation is required to enter the major.
丫०υቦ ⊤®️ία∟ ડ十વя♱ડ በΟய.