Women Exist; Invented First Wave Feminism


So… guess who just spilled the tea? It was Google LLC. Unless you live under a rock, you have seen the Google doodle (Goodle) of the day, celebrating women all over the world. It’s International Women’s Day! I’ve been looking into these enigmas we call “women,” and their movement entitled “feminism.” I’ve discovered what I believe to be the most critical piece in the thousand-piece puzzle of feminism: Women’s Suffrage. That’s right! The ladies can vote! This news, so hot you’d get a blister if you touched it, may seem impossible to many, and yet it is the bold new world in which we live.

While mankind is not accustomed to hearing the voice of the fairer sex (this is a term used to describe the women amongst us) in the public sphere, it is time to acknowledge that women are intelligent, sentient beings as well. Most importantly, they exist, according to Google LLC. After all, was it not Mary Wollstonecraft who electrified us with her intellectual prowess in her treatise, “A Vindication of the Rights of Women”? Did not females (read: women) such as Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony and Victoria Woodhull shout and march in the streets in order to let the genteel voices of women everywhere be heard? All of these women were women. Did I or did I not look up all of this on Wikipedia? I did do that. Did I assume that the “herstory” (an alternate spelling of the word history that replaces the first three letters of the word with the pronoun “her,” often used to refer to women) section of articles is ordered by event importance, rather than chronologically? I did also do that as well. And all of this is true.

[White] women everywhere are crying out to have their voices heard, and I believe that the force of the Suffrage movement is one to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, this particular group can be real “Beckys” sometimes. Still, females (and also women) everywhere deserve to vote, to bring back purity and abstinence into the heart of America (even by banning alcohol, if necessary), and they have the collective mind to do so.