The Daily Nexus has a Nexustential crisis

In the offices of the Nexustentialism section of the Daily Nexus, the writers are often plagued by what form of biting satire to write next. However, like all crusading journalists, they sometimes run a bit dry and are flat out of ideas. This is what is known at the Nexus as a “Nexustential Crisis”.

In these lapses of creativity, the Nexus sometimes turns to a device they have created to help them brainstorm. It is a roulette wheel with the names of UCSB publications such as Word Magazine, The Catalyst, The Bottom Line, and our very own Gaucho Marks. Since the size of each publications space on the wheel is determined by the size of its readership, the probability of them landing on Gaucho Marks was about 1 in one hundred and seventeen thousand. Still, we were fortunate enough to land on the wheel this week.

Daily Nexus roulette wheel
Aforementioned roulette wheel

The function of the wheel is simple. It helps the writers at the Nexus take a concept from another article, remove any element of poignant satire from it, and change the article just enough so that it might seem different. In fulfilling this process, the large, school-funded newspaper has truly lived up to its name of “The Nexus” by centralizing all of the stolen jokes from UCSB publications into one convenient hub for the students of our university to read and possibly chuckle at.