Connor Edwards is absolutely prepared to fulfill his two-week long dream of owning a pet husky in his college town of Isla Vista. He took time and care filling out the required paperwork before he could take the dog home. He even made his first veterinary appointments to make sure his future buddy would lead a long, healthy, and fulfilling life. He didn’t stop preparation there though; he also drafted a Facebook post for the “Free and For Sale” group looking for someone else to adopt the pet; preparing for the imminent situation where he finds that he cannot handle the responsibility that comes with caring for another living being. The draft includes such excuses as “roommate turns out to be allergic,” “landlord didn’t believe that all of the turds appearing on the property were mine,” and “I just didn’t think it’d be this much work.”

When asked for comment Edwards responded, “I can hardly take care of myself let alone another living being. That doesn’t stop me from wanting a dog though. Girls like dogs, and I like girls. Once I’ve gotten the girls attention, I will no longer need the dog, and it will no longer need me.” When asked why he was so confident the dog could find a new home quickly in IV, he had this attitude, “There are ample people like me in Isla Vista who are dog lovers, but are only capable of loving and caring about anything for two weeks at a time. That’s why free and for sale works so well, for like anything, live animal or marijuana waterpipe.”

Edwards defiantly stated that he would not post on Craigslist when looking for a potential new owner for the dog he does not even own yet. He fears that “someone random from Craigslist will be negligent and probably not give the dog the attention it’s due.”