Dubstep Carolers Melt Isla Vista Faces with Christmas Cheer

While carolers across the nation spread Christmas spirit from house to house with classic tunes such as “Let it Snow” and “Deck the Halls”, the holiday loving residents of Isla Vista show off their yuletide cheer to a different melody.

Allen Irvine is the founder and tenor of the group ‘Crunken Carolers’, an electronic a cappella outfit that goes door to door on the streets of IV singing dubstep remixes of traditional Christmas songs. “We love Christmas, but we also love dubstep,” said Irvine while wearing a Santa hat, green speedo, and rhinestone shutter shades, “and we know that everybody in IV loves that stuff too, so we thought that going around and getting hyphy in a bunch of people’s doorways would be a great idea.”

Irvine added that most of the tracks performed by his group feature few changes in lyric from their original counterparts, so that residents who see them perform can sing along. Below is an excerpt from “We Wish You a Merry Christmas (Nero Remix)”, one of the group’s favorite songs:

We wish you a merry Christmas

And a HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR

Wub wuuuuub skree skree skree skree

(sirens)

The song also features a high pitched saw lead, penetrating sub bass, a sample from the “Bladerunner” movie score, and a guest lyric by Rob Swire of Pendulum, all of which come together in “a really beautiful harmony” according to soprano Megan Faulkner.

“One time, we did ‘Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer (2011 Club Edit)’, where I was singing the melody while Jake [Becker, baritone] did a monologue from an episode of Breaking Bad while everybody else was preparing for the drop,” said Faulkner, “This guy answered the door, and right when the drop hit, he started bobbing his head back and forth while his girlfriend poured Patron all over her chest.”

“It’s moments like that that really make the holidays special,” added Faulkner.

The Crunken’ Carolers have received overwhelming praise from their fellow Isla Vista residents, including second year Accounting major Alex Ludlum, who says that his visit from the merry minstrels helped him study for his Econ 3A final.

“I was stressing over these balance sheets, waiting for my head to explode, when my doorbell rings and I see this group of people dressed like they’re about to go to Winter Wonderland,” said Ludlum. “Their rendition of Skrillex’s ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ remix helped alleviate all of the mental and emotional tension I was going through.”

Irvine says that his group will perform year after year during the holiday season to ensure that UCSB students will feel the spirit of Christmas for years to come.

“We just want people to enjoy the little things on Christmas,” said Irvine, “like opening your presents with your family, taking that first bite of turkey at Christmas dinner, and getting totally blasted on Vodka-spiked eggnog while ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (Mitsabishi Remix)’ fucks you with bass.”

“That’s what Christmas is all about.”