Students Avoid Day of Education to Protest Ignorance



Earlier today, hundreds of Gauchos staged a walk out out of their classrooms in order to protest the Presidential Inauguration of Donald Trump.

5th year Political Science major Chet Miller: “Yes, I walked out of my noon Poli-Sci section today. At 12:05 I saw that nobody was getting up, so I got up and was like, “You guys don’t get it, do you?” and walked the eff out. In this time of rampant ignorance, it is important that we stand together. Why would I learn about historical tactics of grassroots movements in the face of political tyranny when I can go outside and tell everyone how pissed off and mad I am that things will not ever change.  Also, I don’t like this class very much.”

Grad Student Melissa Jacobs: “The walk out has put me in a tough position. Today I had a 5th year student on academic probation leave my class in the middle of a lecture on the history of grassroots political movements. In this course, you cannot pass without attending all sections. I don’t understand what these kids are doing, the walk out isn’t going to stop Trump.”

Meanwhile, 3rd year Sociology student James Willis wanted to support the walkout, but does not have class scheduled on Fridays. He decided to not let this act of god(whom he does not believe in) stalemate him, and has decided that his best move will be to stay home. “If I had had class on Friday, I also would’ve walked out of my house. The message we’re trying to send here is to make a change. I usually go out of my house and have fun on Fridays. Now I must show America my dismay by disrupting my routine somehow. I will stay home and sulk in silent protest. Maybe make a few sarcastic comments at the TV, send the best ones as tweets to the world. That’ll show em.”

“It is scary to say that this man is the single most influential factor in my future and the futures of other people of color,” said Amanda Martinez on her way out from Econ 146: Data Anyalsis.

“I’m fucking pissed. On top of all the bigoted rhetoric, Trump speaks with like, a 6th grade vocabulary. What, did he never pay attention in that Ivy League school he attended? He even created a fake university. This man obviously has no respect for education,” said 8th year student Ashley Schlorn, who walked out of her memes class in order to attend the protest at Storke Tower.

“He’s a millionaire, and he doesn’t even pay taxes. Unlike Trump, I believe in doing my civic duty. My family’s from Beverly Hills, and I pay over $30,000 a year to attend this school,” said 4th year Zoology major Tevin Banks.