New Facebook Guidelines Not A Hoax, Says Your Grandma Betty

You may have seen one or more of your Facebook friends post this status (urging you to do the same) recently:

In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, professional photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berne Convention). For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times!

You may have also received a phone call from your Grandma Betty, who, in a state of extreme panic and distress, insisted that you safeguard your online privacy by posting this status as frequently as possible. You may have felt slightly guilty about the fact that your Grandma can’t even see the majority of your Facebook profile, let alone a status, since you blocked her from viewing it the second you accepted her over-zealous friend request.

But for Grandma Betty and the rest of Facebook’s users, content redistribution and online privacy is a real and pressing issue. Who knows when Facebook will decide to steal your painstakingly thought-out status from last Tuesday, the one in which you exclaimed, “Lisning to tha new Ke$ha song on repeat and eating raspberry froyo ;P XOXO~*~*~ #jellymuchhh? #y0l0”? Who knows when Mark Zuckerburg and all his surreptitious cohorts will wrongfully utilize your 523 photo Summer ’10 album featuring the unforgettable duck-face and a peace sign? Actions must be taken to prevent this kind of creative plagiarism.

So, if not from your “friends” who plague your newsfeed with vital updates, take some advice from Grandma Betty, and re-post that status, which is legally binding and will guarantee the protection of your Facebook presence from here on out.

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