Let me paint a picture for you. It’s week three. You’re in your lecture class. The room has become emptier with each passing day. Your professor is trying desperately to keep the class engaged. He’s resorted to throwing in a few curse words here and there because it got a few chuckles on syllabus day, but now it’s just annoying.

A familiar scene I’m sure, but for Professor Johnson’s Media Literacy seminar, the horror did not stop at unnecessary F-bombs. At least three dozen students reported that Professor Johnson, in an attempt to demonstrate to the class how to access the UCSB Library page, actually typed out “www.googlesearch.com” into the search bar. Students and TAs alike watched helplessly as the entire ordeal was projected in full view of the entire class.

“It was literally horrifying,” said graduating senior, Marie Livingston, as she held back tears. “And he literally typed it out with just, like, his index fingers? So I literally thought it would never end. Like, I just need five more units to graduate, but I literally just don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

“Yeah, I just got up and walked out,” explained junior Chad Cromwell. “I wasn’t gonna sit through that shit. I hadn’t even had a Yerb yet.”

Chad wasn’t the only one. Reports show that at least six other students followed him to the Arbor to get a well-deserved Yerba Mate.

Students who were able to stay through the traumatic incident were then forced to watch Professor Johnson struggle to comprehend why the result yielded a “page not found” notification, as he had just tried to google Google. Eventually, after what felt like an eternity of his confusion, Professor Johnson concluded that the internet must be down, and proceeded with his lecture, allowing the class to return to a sleepy stupor of online shopping and quiet snoring.