As UCSB’s A.S. Senate is currently (as in, literally, at this moment) in the process of voting on whether or not the university should divest from corporations that directly profit from human rights violations in Palestine and Israel, tensions are at an all-time high among students invested in the issue.

In response to the ongoing debate, Precious Slut, Isla Vista’s local tattoo and piercing parlour, has put into effect a new policy which states that any patron who requests a tattoo of the Palestinian flag must also be given an adjacent tattoo of the Israeli flag.

The founder and current owner of Precious Slut, Rick Consejo (commonly referred to by his employees as “One Needle Rick”), explained that this policy is the most effective way for Precious Slut to remain vehemently neutral and fair on Palestine and Israel.

Although the policy was proposed by Consejo after several complaints of anti-semitism by Alpha Epsilon Pi (AEPi) fraternity members when a UCSB student received a Palestinian flag tattoo at Precious Slut last month, Consejo said the decision was made independent of consumer opinion or market trends.

“It may be true that a lot of our customers are of Jewish descent, but the policy

is not aimed at anyone in particular,” said Consejo, while noting that he’s grateful for the sacrifice of the aforementioned students in getting tattoos at Precious Slut, even though they know it will eventually end in their exclusion from a traditional Jewish burial.

Support for Precious Slut’s new regulation has been widespread among Jewish customers. AEPi member Zack Rosenberg responded: “The fact is that you can’t just go prancing around this town with a controversial and anti-semitic tramp stamp of the Palestinian flag and not expect some backlash. I pay a lot of money to go to this school and live in I.V. and I shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of racism.”

Consejo added, “The Israeli flag will be done free of charge by our artists, so really pro-Palestinian customers should be thanking us for the free ink.”

When asked about her thoughts on the policy, Palestinian native and current Isla Vista resident Nadia Wasem sighed and said her and her friends would probably be resorting to stick-and-poke tattoos for the foreseeable future.