Storke Tower Bells’ Greatest Hits Album Rings True

   UCSB has produced many great musicians, such as Steve Aoki, Jack Johnson, and Robby Krieger (guitarist for The Doors). But no mere human instrumentalist has ever matched the perennial pitch perfection of our school’s most popular phallic symbol, Storke Tower. After a 53 year career that spawned classic albums such as Carillon My Wayward Son, the introspective Neglected Jenga, and psychedelic concept Bell Jar, Storke Tower has released its finest jingles in one lean, handsome package. Here’s a complete track list for the album, which will be available for download on Gaucho Marks website this summer.

  1. Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead
  2. It’s Seven A.M Somewhere
  3. Gong with the Wind
  4. If a Tree Falls in the Woods, But Nobody is Awake to Hear It, Does It Actually Make a Sound?
  5. Hell’s Bells
  6. The First Three Bars of the Super Mario Theme
  7. Fuck Dude, You’re Late for Class!
  8. Housin’ the Nexus Blues
  9. Tower’s Block
  10. It’s Hip to Be Square
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