Daily Nexus Revealed NOT to Be Satirical Newspaper

In a shocking upset for many fond readers of the Daily Nexus, the beloved campus newspaper was revealed not to be a satirical publication, and is intended to be a legitimate university newspaper. The realization was brought on by the addition of a “satire column,” which prompted many to wonder why a paper composed entirely of gag articles would need to label one as such.

In the following days, it became apparent that what had once been celebrated as a brilliant parody of poor journalism is actually just that. Richard Sanders, a 3rd year Communications major, lamented the revelation.

“The Nexus read like a smart criticism of the complacency that mars modern journalism,” said an utterly heartbroken Sanders. “Learning the truth has been disappointing, to say the least.”

By placing the supposed “satire” column in the Opinion section of the newspaper, the Daily Nexus underlined the previously unfathomable notion that their opinionated articles were not actually ironic portrayals of ignorant college students, and are in fact the legitimate convictions of a once esteemed staff.

“I used to turn to the ‘Ask an Atheist’ column for a biting mockery of the typical, uninformed, young Atheist, not the pathetic ramblings of an actual uninformed, young Atheist.” said Christina Russell, a fourth year Music major. “And the Weatherhuman? Thought he was a riff on pro-lifers. Guess I was wrong.”

However, some readers remain convinced that the Nexus’ articles are tongue-in-cheek, and believe the new satire column is merely the latest stroke of genius in a masterful deadpan routine. The column’s lack of subtlety has been cited as evidence that it may actually be “satire of satire,” spoofing the humorless satire that is characteristic of the sort a publication that the Daily Nexus may be imitating.

Still, others have resigned themselves to disappointment. UCSB student Sarah Tambor feels that the former view gives the Nexus staff too much credit.

“It’s unlikely that college students could have come up with a joke as elaborate as the Daily Nexus. I seriously doubt any worthwhile satire is produced on this campus.”

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