Gaucho Marks

Gaucho Marks

UCSB Satire For the People, By the People

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Tag: campbell hall

Eric Cartman wearing a Hitler uniform sits on a stool next to Charlie Kirk on stage
March 1, 2023March 2, 2023 Gaucho Marks

Charlie Kirk Reveals Surprise Guest Eric Cartman at UCSB Event

"That must mean they're all virgins, right? Nothing else could possibly explain it, right?" said project leader Sophie Papermann. PLEASE I’M A STAAAAARRRRRRRRR “I just wanted to learn more about the nuances of toilet paper brands and manufacturing… I thought this was a Kirkland Signature event,” confessed the confused connoisseur. “Those guys on stage clearly didn’t know crap about the industry. What a flush!” 💩🧻 For more groundbreaking journalism, visit our website: gauchomarks.com “Eric and I share a lot of the same hardworking American values that makes this country great. He’s a model citizen that gives me hope for the next generation. It’s been a pleasure to have him here on the stage tonight, what a great and heartwarming kid. We sure owned those liberal cucks, didn’t we, Eric?” Happy leap day everyone! 🍀🥸 #ucsb UCSB Housing & Residential Services stated on the matter: “You may find SEAL’s Fraternity & Sorority Life Councils to be helpful in finding the housing option that is right for you.” UCSB’s second flash flood warning of the quarter! This must be some kind of record! Stay safe out there… 🌊 Got any Valentine’s Day plans?😜 The RCSGD has a new resource guide some of you may find useful. I know our staff will be putting these tips to good use in the near future… Check the link in our bio for more deets, ya filthy animals!💋👅

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