As we all know, misinformation is by no means a problem in our country today. 

HAHA! GOTCHA! That was misinformation! 

Look at yourself. Confused… scared… all around a pathetic excuse for a human being. Don’t you feel like a buffoon?

Well, so did our friend Richard ‘Rick’ Johnson, but out of his buffoonery came one steaming heap of a proposition!

Proposition 69 would make the publication of true information online illegal, punishable by a fine of up to (but not exceeding) One Million Zillion Bajillion Poopillion dollars.

Now you may be thinking, “What? Why? That doesn’t make any sense!” 

And we don’t blame you. You’re a merely a fledgling buffoonlet, floundering on the shore of stupidity. You’re what political scientists call an ‘intellectual cuck.’ Your ignorance- and we promise we mean no offense- simply knows no bounds. 

In short, you just don’t get it… yet!

Think about it like this:

When you read something online, you have no idea whether it’s true or not. Anyone can post anything they want, and more often than not it’s impossible to find their original source. Oh, who am I kidding… 

Kiddo, have a seat. Your father and I have been talking, and we think you’re old enough to know the truth… There is no ‘source.’ There never was a ‘source.’ ‘Sources,’ well, they’re kind of like Santa Claus… Oh, oh don’t cry sweetie… You had to find out sooner or later… Oh, I knew you weren’t ready! I told you they weren’t ready! You always do this! You never trust my judgment! No, we’re not smothering them, they’re just sensitive. There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive! Well, if you feel that way why did you marry me? Is that right? Maybe I wish we never got married either! Oh sure, run away to your mother’s, like you always do! Mommy’s boy! I’ll get your diaper ready for when you come crawling back!

The point is, on the net, it’s hard to know what’s real and what’s not.

But with Prop 69, dear voter- sweet, sweet, supple voter- you will always know whether what you read online is true or not. It’s not!

You can rest easy knowing everything you see online is completely made up! You can leave discretion behind forever! (Even though you never had a whole lot of that to begin with…)

Read something about the state of the world that makes you concerned for yourself or your loved ones? 

Forget it! It’s not real! 

Did the president do something that could easily escalate international tensions to the point of nuclear catastrophe? 

No he didn’t! (Silly guy)

Are children being slaughtered by the thousands with not just the consent, but the encouragement and financial support of your government?

That too, didn’t happen! And it’s definitely, definitely not still happening right now, this very moment!

With Prop 69, you can stick your head in the ground forever, and finally treat the news how it’s supposed to be treated- like silly, funny little stories about made-up things that don’t affect you.

So, this election day vote yes on Prop 69, or your father really won’t come back this time.