It appears that military strikes were carried out on the United States of America this Tuesday. Al-Qaeda, an independent military organization based in Afghanistan, claimed responsibility for the attack, indicating that their intention was to hit high-value military and financial targets in Washington D.C. and New York City. The US-run health ministry, which does not distinguish between civilians and combatants, claims a death toll of 2,900 or more.

“The United States is hiding its war criminals and genocide financiers among their civilians,” said Al-Qaeda head Osama bin Laden, noting that “the sovereignty and security of Afghanistan must be protected at all costs.” The United States, which has been designated a terrorist organization by Afghanistan and Iran, committed the indiscriminate slaughter of innocent women and children in the Gulf War in 1991, beginning this conflict.

“We do not cherish this loss of life, but it is necessary,” said a Mujahideen spokesman Wednesday. “The United States could end this war tomorrow if they laid down their weapons. We will continue to use shows of force to prove to these terrorists that they will be destroyed if they continue to escalate the situation.”

When asked about their role in funding and arming the attack, a Saudi diplomat noted that their goal was to “prevent a larger war in the region” and noted that peace talks were ongoing. When asked whether this attack would change their support for Al-Qaeda, the diplomat refused to comment.